What Happened On Wall Street Today

There was a major sell-off on Wall Street today, with the market losing 2.3%, more than it’s lost on a single day since 2011. Why? Evidently the investment crowd is panicking because Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke indicated that soon, if the economy continues to improve, the Fed will quit printing new money willy-nilly for them to use to buy bonds in order to continue to stimulate the economy. In other words, they’re threatening to quit feeding the trolls.

Let me translate this for the hard-of-thinking.

The Wall Street dudes and dudettes are throwing a temper tantrum. They’re mad as hell because if the Fed quits printing money for them, that means they’ll have to buy stocks with their own money, since we won’t be handing them cash from our pockets to fund their stock buying splurges any longer. The money we’ve been handing them is supposed to go toward creating the type of wealth that results in jobs being created for those of us who’re out of work. When bankers buy stocks, that creates wealth all right, but not the kind that does 98% of us any good, unless we happen to be butlers, maids or chauffeurs.

Our money? you say. I thought the Feds were handling the stimulus without touching taxpayer funds.

They are. They’re paying for it by just printing money. Which makes the money in your pocket worth less. Which means, in effect, that you’re funding the high financiers spending sprees every time they call their brokers with a “buy” order. And when it comes time to sell, to pull money out of the market to line their pockets, do you think they’re going to think they need to pay you back for the help you’ve given them?

Ha! You didn’t give them anything, remember? Oh, and they’re sorry about the inflation and all. And just to set the record straight, they earned every penny in their pockets honestly. Quit being a bum and thinking the world owes you a living. What are you, a free loader?

This translation of today’s news for the thinking impaired is brought to you by Monsanto, building a better tomorrow by poisoning you today.

Christine Hall

Christine Hall began her journalism career in 1972 writing for the "underground" newspaper the Los Angeles Free Press. From 1988 until 2005 she covered politics for various newspapers in the Greensboro, North Carolina area.

1 comment to What Happened On Wall Street Today

  • I stopped by your site while I was looking for a picture to post on my site. I read a little of your witty post and like the tone. My friends and I with larouchepac are out to shutdown/bankrupt Wall Street with the reinstatement of Glass Steagall. HR129 and S895 and S1282. Keep fightin’!
    Gene