Your help is needed to help the President of the United States determine which news sources are the most trusted. If you are not a Trump supporter, you should not fill out this survey because it will skew the results.
One thing you can say about Trump and the boys, they’re bringing transparency to the White House in a way that no administration has ever done. This isn’t on purpose, mind you. But even a five-year-old — and everyone else except his supporters, it seems — can see right through him.
You might have heard about Trump’s “Media Survey.” It’s an online survey with a secret link known only to his supporters. He knows they’re his supporters because they’ve told him so, evidently by buying a red Chinese made baseball cap online or something. Anyway, they received an invitation to take the survey from the Trump/Pence disorganization.
It asks all sorts of in-depth questions about the media. Like, “Do you trust MSNBC to report fairly on Trump’s presidency?” Trump evidently plans to use it to prove he’s correct, that the New York Times, CNN, the Washington Post, Mad Magazine and even If This Be Treason — if only he knew about us — are purveyors of fake news, a technical term indicating news that is…well, fake.
Unfortunately, his survey hasn’t worked out as planned. It appears that somehow the secret link to the URL got leaked — perhaps hacked by a 400 pound man sitting on a bed with legs that are broken from bearing too much weight — to the Democrats who have (gasp!) “sabotaged” the results of his survey.
The organization isn’t saying how it knows about the sabotage, but it’s a pretty good bet that it’s because more respondents are indicating they trust the New York Times more than they do Breitbart.
So Trump & Company are doing the only semi intelligent thing they can think of. They’re reissuing the media survey — or so they say, it’s got a different URL, but the questions remain the same — and sending all of their supporters the new secret URL, under the theory that such a brilliant plan couldn’t fail twice.
Just in case you’re a Trump supporter who somehow didn’t get the secret URL because it maybe ended up in your spam folder, you can take it here. If you’re not a Trump supporter, especially if you are — God forbid! — a Democrat, or even if you know someone who’s a Democrat and you like them, you absolutely should not take the survey because it will screw up the results, which will prove that trained journalists with the most respected news sources in the country lie every time they write or speak about Trump.
Oh, when you reach the part that asks about “other” news sources you use that aren’t on the list… make sure you write in If This Be Treason. He doesn’t know we exist yet, and we’re feeling a little left out.
